Developing a Practice with Teeth.
Yes, I actually mean it when I say that I want to empower witches.
Whenever a new man comes into my life, I tell him three stories:
First, I tell him that I’m a survivor. The last date I went on, I stiffly said “domestic violence is a cause very… close to me.” He nodded in silent understanding. That response went a long way for me, probably longer than he realizes. But that’s not really what this is about- this is just context, so you understand what I mean when I say your protection magic should have teeth.
Second, I tell him I am a curse positive witch. Usually, I jokingly tell him about the time I used an impotence curse on someone who was running around where he shouldn’t (cheating and lying). More often than I care to admit, the response is “I’m kind of scared, should I be turned on by that?” or even more bluntly- “that’s kind of hot.” These responses tell me everything I need to know about what kind of man they are. I move on.
Third, I tell him I only ever curse people who deserve it. I explain that I don’t believe karma will come after me if it is just. The last person who heard this story had the aforementioned “I’m kind of scared” response. If you’re a good person, why should you be scared? I have friends who fear saying this in the wild, but I think of myself as a poison dart frog when this comes up- “Don’t eat me, I’m dangerous!” Those who do not hate me and do not wish to eat me, will simply accept this as part of my beauty.
With these three stories, they often tell on themselves. When you spend your life around insatiable wolves, you learn their behavior. You learn how to respond to them and how to stave off an attack. The thing about prey, though, is that it also has teeth. the church, the patriarchy, and even Wicca have done well to make us forget that. I’ve talked about my feelings on the threefold law before. But what does the church, patriarchy, and Wicca have in common? They are notorious for removing women’s teeth. Especially witches.
Teeth matter because two things are certain in this world: chaos and free will. As long as chaos and free will both exist, evil can exist. As long as evil can exist, we need to defend ourselves. It is the natural order of things. My magickal specialties so to speak are deflection and defensive magic. Much of my defensive magic comes with several layers of “if, then” scenarios. Ensuring the teeth are deployed and ready to bite down, should it become necessary. I have found my dart frog method seems to mostly work, before the teeth become necessary. If someone does land on the wrong side of my evil eye, well, at least I warned them first.
Getting down to brass tacks- in therapy, especially DBT, they talk often about boundary setting and how there must be consistent consequences that you are willing to follow through on in order for a boundary to be effective. This same principle is applied to protection magic. Yes, you can ward with the simple intention of “protection”- but without appropriate consequences in place, something (or someone) with enough stubbornness could get through. Consequences ensure that if they do get through- it is not going to be pleasant.
Witch bottles are a good example of this principle, and one easily attained without calling upon Gods to do workings with you. Historically I have worked with Baba Yaga and Lilith to… vex… certain bad actors who got too close for comfort. I did this in tandem with upping my wards and a thorough cleanse of my home. I told the story before about putting bullet casings in my wards once before. I traditionally use chili pepper and black pepper, both of which have protection properties- but also banishing and exorcism.
An incredible tool for this is a devil’s club. This has roots in Southern Cunning, and it’s created by gathering together branches of thorned plants. I’ll do a more in-depth post on this down the road. Cactus barbs, staves, knives, and switches can all serve a similar purpose. These are banishing and protection tools - with consequences for the spirits silly enough to allow themselves to get beat by them.
The way I most like to bare my teeth towards people is by simply doing a return to sender following an uncrossing or cord cutting. If I sense a particularly nasty energy coming from an individual in my life and I’m already doing work to drive them away, it only makes sense that I would reflect that stinky energy straight back at them. It’s simple and doesn’t feel like an over exertion of energy for someone who’s equivalent to a thorn in my side.
TL;DR; Wards and cleansings are great and all, but they won’t actually do much on their own. Your defenses need teeth.
I love your unapologetic realness about telling your stories, reading the responses, and following through with consequences. So many people are afraid to be 'confrontational' or to take matters into their own hands. Then the ones that do, and talk about it, often go to the other extreme of intentional harm.
There are often no healthy models for proper boundaries with teeth, as you say. Great article!